Short notice and bad texts

As you all know I currently require a fair bit  of notice (I actually think it’s not much but the outrage it brings makes me think that others feel differently) for a booking. At the moment I need at a minimum to know before 6pm the day before. However I can take limited short notice outcalls but I choose not to. Why? Because I feel like I’m encouraging/condoning the practice of really bad text messaging, in my experience the quality of the booking request goes down with the a) the decrease in amount of notice given and b) the time of night the request is sent. Mathematically this would be expressed as

Q = (x·h)+1/(y·n²)

where

Q = quality of booking request,

h = absolute difference between 12 noon and time request was sent in hours,

n = notice given in hours

x,y = variables

So what constitutes a ‘bad’ text message? I shall give some instructive examples

  • Out tonight [hotel name] how much?

Where is hello or hi or some acknowledgement that I am a human? What is your name, how do I address you? As for how much MY PRICES ARE LISTED IN THE SAME PLACE YOU GOT MY NUMBER FROM, if you are expecting a special rate because you are special I will add a special person surcharge. Also in this place that has my phone number and prices it will have said I don’t do same day bookings. I have set a boundary and you have chosen to ignore it, this doesn’t give me any confidence that you will respect any other boundaries within the booking. If we ignore all of that I now have to engage in a back and forth to try and work out what type of booking you want and how long you would like to a) tell you when I can fit it into my schedule and b) give you the price as different types of bookings have different rates.

  • Text me baby

Sigh. Unless you have paid me for my time I will not engage in conversations for gratification outside a booking. This includes by text, email, phone call, twitter. I love conversations and chit chat but I am a paid service.

  • Hi r u free

See above for treating me like a human. The details I need are when, where, what, how long and who.

  • Hello Corrine. How would I massage you and have some fun for 30 minutes for an outcall tonight?

I don’t know, how will you massage me? What do you mean? Please read before hitting send to see if your message is coherent.

So what does a good message look like? I’ve tweeted this a couple of times…

Hi Corrine I’d like to arrange a [number] hour [type] booking on [date] at [time], I’d also like [description]. Thanks [name]

[type] would be the type of booking, massage or full service or GFE for example. [description] could be if you would like something in particular like red lingerie, nuru massage, specific acts or fetishes. If you don’t have anything specific you’d really like that’s fine too.

Notable exceptions to the above are if you have trouble with writing English, for example you have literacy problems, English isn’t your first language or you have problems with fine motor control that make typing difficult. Please say if this is the case! I’ll understand I promise but if you don’t say I can only go off what you have written.

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